Friday, July 31, 2009,12:08 AM
Stressed up.
Is it wrong for me to be stressed up? This week must be one of the worst week i have had for my entire life. Now, every Tuesdays would remind me of one of the stressed up things i had in mind. There are a total of more than 3 problems that day. But not only that, more problems are adding up from that day. Up until now. I don't even know how to handle all of the problems and how to solve them one by one.
Venting my frustration by punching the wall before reaching home was the only way to prevent myself from having a migrain and shouting out loud. Bearing the pain is what im familiar with. Bearing another or a new pain is so familiar that i think that it is already being attached to my life.
Since Tuesday, i kind of felt awkward and upset at the same time. Even if that issue is over and being discussed with, i felt guilty. So bad that i become stressed up and cried over the issue. I had observed that in my opinion, they seemed to not want to communicate with me. Am i such a horrible friend? Sister?
For the first time, i felt overwhelming anger. Anger at myself. I shouldn't be close to anyone. For the millionth time that i say that. But it seems to me that, it is like, why people be close to me at the first. But as the days goes by, everyone is drifting away. Ignoring. Am i beoming invisible or something? Am i such a bore to the extent that no one seemed to be willing to talk with. What's wrong with me? Tell me.
And Nashri, im sorry that i throw much frustration and stressed up moments on you. I make it up to you somehow kay? :)
Labels: Anger.
